Death is a vivid reminder to live fully – as our real self. 
This became very heartfelt to me after attending a memorial service recently for a woman in her late 30’s. I’m pretty introspective about life, but I still feel jolted.
As I took the long drive home, alone, so many thoughts raced through my mind. They still have a hold on me.
She was an extravert. Mourners stood elbow to elbow, filling the large Conference Centre room while multiple speakers shared stories about the significant impact she made in a wide range of settings. They spoke fondly about what a firecracker she was. About her vivacious personality. Her tangible and infectious joy for life.
I thought about what my own service might look like. Would I even want one? Who would show up? Would anyone have anything to say? Would it just feel forced – fake?
Let’s face it. As an introvert, I choose to limit my close relationships to a manageable handful. I’ve never been the life of the party or the energizer bunny on the team. Much of my value is swirling around as thoughts and ideas that never become realized.
So as I self-defeatingly went down this path of comparison, I realized there’s a lesson:
Our job in life is to fully be and express our real self.
To be more “me” every day and share it.
And this is where introversion comes back into the picture.
Too many of us still consider introversion to be “the short end of the stick”. We secretly long to be more noticeable (if only in certain situations, like career opportunities) – which seems to be so natural and easy for extraverts.
Too many of us still cling to our comfort zone to a fault – hiding what we have to share because of uncertainty, fear, comparison or self-doubt. By doing so, in the end, we’re choosing not to leave our mark on the world – as if we were never here. Invisible.
Putting your best self out there is the most generous thing you can do for the world. Hiding is not a contribution. ~ Marianne Cantwell, Be A Free Range Human
Which takes me full circle back to what I do. Because, I am my business. There’s no separation.
Be Brave. Be Seen. Be True.
Don’t wait for death to be your wake up call. Be more YOU today, and find an authentic way to SHARE all the greatness that’s within you. What you have to offer matters. You matter. Please, let us see YOU…
I loved your post and even though I am not an introvert I know the hiding feeling that can stop your light shining thankyoy ang the quote is wonderful xx
thanks Suzie 🙂
Your post touched me greatly Marla. I think I am an a introvert but your lesson from your story is so true:
“Our job in life is to fully be and express our real self.
To be more “me” every day and share it.”
… and thinking about what others would say is a good way to see how the world perceives you. Great food for thought for me.
I adore your Be Brave – Be Seen – Be True
thanks 🙂
Jacs
thank you Jacs for the lovely feedback and I’m so pleased that it provided food for thought for you…
For years I used to consider myself an extrovert, but really I knew I was a bit of both. To be honest, now I am in my later 30’s I don’t care about being ‘labelled’ I am me and I am who I am! Your post reminds me of that and it should be embraced. Never apologise for being you. Gosh its taken me that long to stop saying sorry for me! Thank you a lovely thought provoking post 🙂
Thank you Paula – and I agree that labels aren’t the important part, especially if they limit us. It’s more about appreciating the truth of who we really are and knowing that we’re good enough as we are. No more apologies! Sending positive energy your way 🙂
Having now lost both my parents, I’ve actually thought a lot in the past about what I’d want on my tombstone (it’s not quite what I’d want said at a memorial service, but it’s close).
I decided I just wanted four words along with my name: “She made a difference.”
I’m not too worried about whether people thought I was outgoing or quiet – whether they thought I was brave, or bold, or sassy, or strong or smart (sure, I’d love to be all those things now, while I’m alive, but I’m not worried about being remembered for them when I’m gone).
What I want to know – and what I want people to know about me – is that I wanted to make a difference for the better in the world – and that I then did my best to make that difference happen.
“She made a difference.” They’re just four words, but they pretty much drive everything I do in my business (and perhaps one day, in my entire life, although I’m not there yet) Here’s hoping that one day, ideally in the not-too-near future, they’ll be there on my tombstone, just how I want them to be 🙂
Blessings
TANJA
I’m sorry for the loss of your parents Tanja and thank you for sharing your thoughts. Congrats on your most recent “difference maker”, the Conscious Introvert Awesomeness Facebook community (https://www.facebook.com/groups/310914615738736/) which seems to be growing daily with new positive introvert entrepreneurs. Here’s to creating positive change!
This is a powerful and painful post, touching on deep issues of self identity and self worth. I’m so very glad you posted it and want you to know how validated I feel by your consistent, persistent, insistent call to come out and share. More people need to see this post and feel invited (and supported) by Wise Introvert. Please syndicate it widely!
You’ve got me blushing Susanna 🙂 So grateful for your comment and to know that you found value in the post. I’m sure you also encounter these deep issues with your yoga students (http://www.susannagraceyoga.com/) as you help them unite all aspects of their being. We each have our part to contribute – if we dare show up! Sending positive energy your way.