Are You Willing to Let Go of Making the Right Decision?

Are You Willing to Let Go of Making the Right Decision?I hear from a lot of women who are feeling stuck and frustrated from the pressure to make the right decision or do the right thing.

They want to be ‘good’, smart, follow the rules, measure up, fit in. If they’re introverted, they can ruminate endlessly about which option is right, causing them to become stuck.

When they do choose the ‘right’ option, it often means conforming to external expectations and rules. So, in the end, they lose their sense of self. They feel lost.

That gnawing pain of identity loss resonates strongly for me. Because it takes me back to one of my rock bottom moments.


Working through the process of “Who am I now?” and “What do I want?” changed the path I would take next. Now over ten years later, I have made a lot of changes, but I find that I’m still figuring things out. Because, as I grow and accept more about myself, what I want – what matters to me – shifts.

Therefore, I feel like I’m always re-discovering, re-deciding, re-adjusting. If I can accept it for what it is without judgment, I’m at peace with this process of living my authentic life.

So when I ask you the question, “Are you willing to let go of doing things right?”, I understand how challenging that is.

And I’m nudging you to give yourself permission to forget about what the plan was, or what you thought you would have or be doing by this point in your life. Forget about what anyone else wants for you or expects of you. Choose genuine happiness.

Give yourself permission to do what feels right for YOU now.

Being true takes courage. I still don’t have it all ‘right’. Some days are definitely better than others. But what I can tell you is that, lately, I wake up in the morning and go to bed at night with a deep knowing that I’m doing what’s right for me now. Not one part of my life is perfect. Yet, overall, I feel a sense of peacefulness. That’s all I can ask of myself.

So instead of expecting that you make the ‘right’ decision, expect that you do the best you can today. If you know that your best is coming from your most authentic self, that’s right enough.

Tell me, if you were willing to let go of trying to make the right decision, what would you do next?

Be Brave. Be Seen. Be True…and please share this with another woman who might need to free herself from trying to do things right all the time.

16 thoughts on “Are You Willing to Let Go of Making the Right Decision?”

  1. Marla, I’m just getting around to reading this now, and I’m blown away by the power of it.

    I think for me, figuring out who I am and what I want is an ongoing journey. The answers to both questions are everchanging and ever-evolving – I think that as long as I feel as though I’m moving in (basically) the right direction, I’m happy 🙂

    Blessings and thank you for sharing this


  2. Marla, you are a very brave woman opening your hurt and your heart to the world. I love what you said – “If you know that your best is coming from your most authentic self, that’s right enough.” That’s how I’ve been trying to live for last several years. It’s freeing.

  3. Since I see others sharing I’d have to say I had a rock bottom 2 weeks several years ago when my Dad suddenly/unexpectedly died, I discovered my husbands affair 2 days after our 25th anniversary, and I was diagnosed with a degenerative eye disease with no cure and eventual total blindness. Yep, that pretty much covers it. But as you and many others discover the hard way, we either embrace these moments determined to overcome the odds or we allow them to bury us. Wonderful article – thank you Marla!

    1. Oh Marquita, thank you for sharing your story. I’m truly touched. And it gives a clear context for how you have chosen to overcome the odds and share that wisdom in terms of your work – Emotionally Resilient Living. Honoured to be in your ‘virtual presence’…thank you.

  4. I’ve reinvented myself several times over the past five decades. Changed jobs, married, divorced, remarried, relocated, and each time the path ahead has been exciting and taken me to places unexpected. Each change required a type of letting go – always for the better. Thx for encouraging all of us to let go and move forward.

    1. There’s such power in the language you choose to use Kimba – reinvented – yes, we get to choose. Sometimes we don’t know if the choice will take us to a better place until after the transition and we’re looking backwards, so it’s about learning to trust ourselves and those inner whisperings that guide us. Thanks for your comment.

  5. Marla, Oh I know only to well that what if syndrome, and how often it has stopped me. yes when we let go and listen to the whispers of our heart’s magic can happen xx

  6. NIce! I needed that…life is too short to not do what you love! After major loss…the question arises again and again: Who am I now and what do I want? I want to learn more and share often! Thank you for this timely post.

    1. Thanks Lanie – learn more and share often, I love that! And I think your art therapy is a beautiful and powerful way to do just that.

  7. Thank you for sharing such a powerful post. For me the rock bottom moment was coming out of a failed marriage hating myself so much I couldn’t even say my own name. It’s taken me a good 10 years to get to the point where I’m at peace enough with myself to start using my real name again. So to answer your question, if I was brave enough to take the next step I would rip down all of my websites and start over in a way that honors me instead of hides me.

    1. Helena, thank you so much for sharing your story. Yes, unhealthy relationships and divorce can be serious identity thieves. Our name is such a powerful identifier – it’s our heritage, our birthright. I’m thrilled to hear that you’re reclaiming it. You have such strength, wisdom and a renewed purpose after climbing out of the rubble and back into yourself. Take pride in that.

      What would it take for you to take that first step toward really being seen on your websites? What’s one thing you could do today?

      You’re a role model Helena…love and trust yourself. With much gratitude, I’m sending positive energy your way.

      1. Thank you so much Marla. I appreciate your encouragement and your positive energy. 🙂

        I’ve already taken the first step. I registered my domain… hard to believe it was still available, but maybe it was just waiting for me to be ready to claim it. Now I just have to figure out how best to make the transition.

        1. Congrats Helena on registering your domain – it’s a huge step in being seen – and that’s what it will continue to be, one courageous step at a time. When thinking about the transition, try not to get overwhelmed by the big picture and instead, break it down to small steps by asking what the very next best thing is that you can do. Go for it and stay in motion!

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